Sunday

New thing for today was being very feminine for a change and enjoying the pedicure at NYNC in Mayfair that my sister and her boyfriend bought me for my birthday. Not only that, but when I met her outside, she then offered a manicure as well....so I won't be washing up for a while! The people in the salon were awesome, so friendly (my hands are more used to potato picking than being pampered), so I was totally put at ease. Two other customers came in; a very dainty girl and her surfer-looking boyfriend who both had a pedicure - although he did make it a little bit more manly by having a phone conversation which went like this:
"I thought you said she got rid of it? Oh. Well congratulations then".
Other new things were the Hog and Pound pub and the Mason's Arms.

Saturday

Awoken at 6am for reasons I've bored most people with this weekend.....New thing came in the evening when we went to Monty's (so want to add "You terrible c*nt" after that. *See Withnail and I for details) -a Nepalese restaurant in Ealing which serves the most delicious mushroom biryani! We had a great time eavesdropping onto the couple next to us who were on a date and having an extremely dull conversation.

Friday

New thing was going to a leaving party in Newbury's Eve pub (even though I'd been before when it was the Slug and Lettuce). I used to come in here a lot until they charged me 50p for an extra sachet of mayo. In fact, Mabel and I had our first date here three and a half years ago - it was meant to be a secret, but firstly, I didn't recognise him and walked right past him at the bar, and then we were spotted by someone who worked at our firm! Tonight though, I was greeted by some of my former colleagues, only three of whom opened with "Have you got any more speeding tickets?". Since the party was to mark the departure of the person who took over my district when I left, I felt a huge wave of nostalgia for West Berkshire in general, especially when I bumped into a fireman I used to know at the bar, and he showed me videos on his phone of the flooding in West Berkshire over the last couple of weeks, putting the BBC's coverage to shame.

The other new thing was going to Asda in Reading to get some diesel, and also to see if I could get a copy of Harry Potter while I was there. I came out with two packets of Quavers.

Thursday

New thing was going to a pub called the Land of Liberty, Peace and Plenty pub in Heronsgate for a swift half. The pub has just been voted overall best pub of the year for Hertfordshire. Which isn't the reason I dropped by.

Wednesday

New thing for today was driving up a dead end in Rickmansworth on my way to the leisure centre.

Tuesday

Marge's new thing today was going to be riding through the breeze to the leisure centre for a spot of pilates. But nothing is ever that simple, as I am an idiot. (eg. It took me five minutes and 13 answers to give an answer to a very basic maths question). So my new thing for today was actually riding along the canal, avoiding being hit by demon drivers in Clancy Docwra vans and watching rabbits run back and forth. Very soothing.

Monday

New things for today were going in my boss' shiny red car and then going to a restaurant in Rickmansworth called Cinnamon Square with said boss, colleague and the bloke whom I replaced at my job. Not very well.

Sunday

Today's new thing was going to the King's Head pub in Sarre. I *may* have gone on the slide and trampoline while I was there.....

Saturday

New thing for today was watching the fifth Harry Potter film, after spectacularly drinking too much last night and failing to get to the bookshop at midnight to get my copy of the last Harry Potter book. The film was great actually; a very good job of committing the book to celluloid. The last two films gave me night terrors so we shall see just how scary this film is tonight.....

Did you know that JK Rowling went to the same university as me?

Friday

New thing for today was going to Croxley Green tube station to meet someone.

Thursday

Instead of turning right to go down the hill at the Rose and Crown pub, I went left. I was tired in my defence.

Wednesday

New thing for today was going to the Ealing Comedy Festival in Walpole Park (Walpole Park being one of my new things a few weeks ago). First up was the "knockout" comedian and former boxer Ricky Grover, who was "punchy" (I'll stop now), then Marcus Brigstocke - who was extremely intelligent. He's the anti-Bernard Manning, taking on the Daily Mail and all the prejudices that its readers have - quite prevalent in Ealing, and it was he who penned this gem: "If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." The headliner was Lee Mack, who was great, and managed to deal with his two stupid heckles in slick style.

Tuesday

New thing for today was new parts of both Harlow and Southend.....

Monday

New thing today was cycling into the garden centre next to the canal path that I've passed every day.

Monday

New thing for Sunday was cycling up and down new parts of the cycle path near Rickmansworth.

Saturday

New thing for today was new streets in Weymouth while driving to Bridport and also stopping by Stonehenge to ogle the stones at sundown.

Friday

New thing for today was walking along the canal path in Oxford with two friends and being bitten to bits. We then went into a lovely pub called The Oxford Retreat where we tried to attribute the movie quotes on the back of the toilet door.

Thursday

I tried to scurry into central London straight after work to get to "Taking Liberties" - a film about the surreptitious ways the government has used to take away basic freedoms. I got there too late, and was told quite rudely that I wouldn't be allowed in, before the guy turned back to his conversation. I decided not to cheer myself up with a slap up visit to Okawari, which was great until I got to paying and was asked to add a gratuity, despite just having been told that a 10% service charge had been added to the bill. Spoilt a superb meal. The other new thing was going to a meeting in Tamworth, and also going to Boots to get a sandwich. As well as getting stuck in traffic thanks to a lorry fire on the way up to Tamworth, I also got stuck on the way back on the M40, and then on the A40. Got to see Stokenchurch and West Wycombe too.

Wednesday

New thing for today was driving round new bits of Slough and Eton on my way to this year's Race for Life event. Completed the run with a very red face and raspy breathing...

Tuesday

New thing for today was going to the photo-me booth in Rickmanworth's post office to have my pic taken for my new passport. Is that really what I did today?!

Monday

New thing today was going to the main shopping centre in Cannock (yuk!) and screaming in front of a bunch of shoppers after a pigeon flew straight at me, missing my face by about a centimetre. Also checked out a pub in Solihull while I was waiting for my meeting today. The other new thing I did was driving up a street called Frederica Street in Holloway, as a bit of movie research showed that this street was used in "The Ladykillers", and that the little old lady's funny-looking house was at the end of it. I drove up there hoping to get a bit of Ealing Comedy film history, and of course the whole lot has gone, and has been replaced with an absolutely hideous council estate. :(

Sunday

The new thing today was going to Ye Old Green Man Pub for a catch up.

Got up dead early and one of the new things I did today was going to two garden centres on the A412. Had to meet someone at 1pm, and woke up at 1.55pm......

New thing for Friday was going to the heart of Watford for an evening at Jongleurs. It wasn't the most promising start as I nearly got punched in the face by a bouncer becuase he wanted to search my bag and took great offence when I asked him what exactly he was looking for. "I'm just doing my job", he said 45 times. "but, what are you looking for?". Wouldn't recommend this line of questioning, especially as the guy looked like Shaft.
Once into the club, the comedy was awesome. The MC, Roger Monkhouse was great, especially as he had a terrible time dealing with the first weekend of the smoking ban being in place - so there was a mass exodus every 15 minutes or so. One of the acts was Matt Welcome who I'd seen - Jeez - more than 10 years ago - when I was in my first year at university. And he was still very, very good. Very incisive and clever. The headliner was Jason Rouse, who is a friend of two of my friends - all I can say is that I was delighted that I wasn't sitting at the front for that one!

Thursday

New things today included the dining room of the lovely B&B I stayed in, the town of Keighley and the impressive spa town of Harrogate, which I'd never been to before. It's a lovely town, which is probably even nicer on a normal day. Today wasn't one of those. There was a power cut which seemed to have knocked out the whole of the centre of town, so everyone (myself included) was wandering around aimlessly trying to cope with the fact that TopMan was closed. It was particularly dark, yet a bloke seemed to think that I was Lucy Liu - a fact he pointed out to his girlfriend at unnecessarily high volume. Ironically, the town's power came back on just after I got back to the car park, so I didn't get away with not paying for parking....Had meeting in Bradford in a room I'd never been to before, and then swung by my Grandma's on the way home (second part not a new thing).

Wednesday

New thing for today was driving oooop north to a village called Haworth, near Keighley. What wasn't new was the soulless part of the journey covering the south of the M1 at an average speed of 5mph. I finally got to Haworth about 5 minutes after the pub I went to - called the Old hall - stopped serving food. I ate about 17 bags of crisps for dinner and wandered around outside where a movie called "Wild Child" is currently being filmed. I stayed in a comfortable B&B called Rosebud Cottage which I can't recommend highly enough and had the best night's sleep I've had for months.

Tuesday

the planned new thing for today was taking a left turn off the road that goes between Chalfont and Maple Cross, but as there was someone in a Saab tailgating me, I couldn't stop or else that would have been it for the stuff in my boot (not just beer). So my new thing ended up being a look down the driveway for some college - might have been Buckinghamshire College, or something. The place was absolutely deserted, and despite it being only 5.30pm, my only companion in the woods was a fox...

Monday

New thing for today was running up a cul de sac in Maple Cross while out on my "run".

Sunday

New thing for today was stopping at a garage in Wellingborough to get diesel...we stayed with Kate and Simon last night, who were mightily amused to see the state of Mabel's face after the fight the night before....new things also included having to take a convoluted route home as the M1 was closed.

Saturday

New thing for today was going to the Wheatsheaf Pub in Woodhouse Eaves for a post-mortem (almost literally) of the wedding! Had a lovely catch up with family and friends, and found out that one of the guests had actually arrived at 2am from another wedding where he was the best man! He then returned to the first wedding in preparation for breakfast in the morning, but found that he was locked out of his £140-a-night room, and ended up sleeping on the doorstep, before breaking into the hotel's stables and sleeping in the hay, much to the surprise of the person who found him...

Friday

Lots of new things today, starting with getting stuck in central London thanks to the guy who tried to set off a nail bomb in the heart of the city. Headed up to the village of Woodhouse Eaves which I'd never been to before, to drop off some food at my cousin's house in preparation for her wedding today. When we arrived, her husband-to-be - the lovely Justin leaned out of the window, asking us if we got the call to say that Claire had been taken to hospital. The sod. Tra and I totally fell for his macabre joke! After inspecting their lovely house and garden and getting dressed in their utility room, we went to Beaumanor Hall for the ceremony - it's a beautiful stately home which doubled as a code-breaking outlet, like Bletchley Park, in the Second World War.
Claire looked amazing, coming down the stairs with her dad. She wanted the whole affair to be informal, which she felt she'd achieved when the registrar asked her if the bride was on her way! I wipred away many tears during the ceremony - it was very moving, and lightly done, with readings from my dad and others. One woman read the words to "You've got the love" by the Source, featuring Candi Staton, which is a true classic with very apt words.
After the ceremony, we went back to Claire and Justin's amazing garden for the party. Everyone had brought food, and with the amount I drank, it was a good thing I well and truly lined my stomach! The music, food and drink were awesome, and some of us took the opportunity to walk up the hill at the back of the house to admire the views of Leicester (seriously). The party went on until the morning, and when most people had gone home or to bed, a fight broke out......

Thursday

New thing was discovering new parts of Acton en route to the pub. They were better when they were undiscovered in all honesty.