Thursday

I actually left work on the stroke of 5pm as I was feeling so pooey, so didn't have high epectations in the way of new things today. However, after I called Mabel and asked him to get a chocolate bar I'd never had before (which he did - a Starbar, which I've just remembered I never paid him for.....), I got a call from a freecycler offering me a VW book, which cheered me up so much that I headed straight of the door in one leap. It involved driving around the lovely village of Croxley Green, and two wrong turnings, but WOW - what wrong turnings. I headed down New Road, which had a camper van identical to mine, and then I went down a dead end which hosted THE MOST ENORMOUS houses I have EVER seen in my life. I must return in daytime! Got the book too, and had a lovely chat with the owner, a Beetle enthusiast, before nearly running over his cat by way of a thank you.

Wednesday

I wanted to watch a film as my new thing, but was too useless to work out how to wire up the DVD player. By the time Mabel got home, I was too tired to watch anything, so when I picked him up, we ventured into the Royal Masonic School for girls where a woman in a Mercedes nearly reversed into me, reminding me fondly of my driving lessons where my instructor quite seriously told me to avoid driving past posh schools if it could be helped.

Tuesday

Ventured around a corner in the gym. Not as entertaining as watching the staff member come into the changing room, avoiding the filthy floor, before carefully cleaning the mirror while checking herself out.

Monday

New thing was down to more freecycling. I picked up a bunch of magazines from a lady in Malm Close - always makes me feel bad for moaning about society nowadays and the country going to the dogs when I collect something from some kind hearted soul on freecycle. This lady was no exception, and between us, we saved about 20 magazines from landfill.

Sunday

I walked down an alleyway called "Friends Walk" which runs parallel to the Quakers' House in Uxbridge, which seemed to be there simply to allow me to do a new thing! I've always been interested in finding out more about the Quakers as it's a religion which seems quite simple, but the people are nice and not too strict about the alcohol! The other new thing was going to Nando's in Uxbridge, which I struggle to recommend, but at least a fight didn't break out as it did when we went for a post-meal pint in the Metropolitan pub around the corner.

Saturday

A nice pub with strange staff was our new thing for the day. The Griffin's Head in Mears Ashby.

Friday

New thing was parts of the west of Rickmansworth after finding out that yoga had been cancelled. The useless staff at the leisure centre didn't bother apologising as seems to be their wont.

Thursday

New thing was exploring even further up the Frederica Street which I believe was the location for the filming of the original (and best) Ladykillers film in the 50s.

Wednesday

On the hunt for a sandwich for my boss, went into a place called Brown Sugar where two hard-faced women didn't serve us for a while, then into another bakery where the service wasn't much better. There wasn't a price up for a baguette, as requested by the boss, so I asked the woman behind the counter, who barked that it's "obviously £2, same as the bap". Obviously.

Tuesday

Not very inspired; the toilet at the Stag in Heronsgate. One of those toilets that smells faintly like a chemical toilet and seems to have been put together with plyboard, black toilet seats and a cheap tiled floor in the 60s. I don't even know why I'm still writing about it.

Monday

New parts of Wolverhampton.

Sunday

After a cold, but restful night's sleep in the van, Tra invited us in for breakfast before we decided to go for a walk around Stoke Poges, just for exercise rather than to underline how small our house is. Went for a peaceful walk around the memorial gardens which border Stoke Park, so a stunning sunset.

Saturday

After a brilliant massage, we took Sir Matthew Van Camper van into London, parked him up and headed towards Union Chapel for a performance of Freeborn John, Rev Hammer's folk opera about the Civil War hero. Before that, we ventured into a couple of pubs in the area for a pre-performance snifter. The venue was fantastic, and absolutely perfect for the subject matter, with beautiful acoustics too. After losing my way on the way back from the toilet, and stumbling upon the backstage room, my ridiculous drunkeness was confirmed when I tipped my beer can over, and then when I thought I was holding it up the right way, realised that I was still pouring it over the floor. I must have looked like a total hooligan. The performance was awesome, with Maddy Prior and Rev Hammer as Elisabeth and John Lilburne, the Levellers as the Levellers, and other performances by Justin Sullivan from New Model Army. There was lots of humour in it to, some very clever allusion to Ken Livingstone, and some lovely songs, set within a reverent and humbling atmosphere. I highly recommend it, and hope to see it again after reading more carefully John Lilburne. After the performance, and finding myself too drunk to get a word out to my hero, I stumbled across the road to an off licence for some mini cheddars and met Mark Chadwick who was attempting to buy two packets of fags, but ended up with three thanks to the mardy shopkeeper. Although Mark was in the same kind of state of inebriation as me, we had a quick chat about Freeborn John and Beautiful Days, before shaking hands and stumbling off in different directions. Mabel and I had a pint in every pub on the way home before sleeping in the van.

Friday

Finished work really late, so Mabel kindly supplied my new thing; a one portion mango cheesecake. Very sweet - Mabel and the cheesecake.

Thursday

Lovely Valentine's Day (for a change!) Flowers delivered to my office, and a home cooked meal of salmon with dill and parsley (which Mabel sat on when I got up to blow my nose!), with - new thing - Gu chocolate cheesecake.

Wednesday

New parts of Aldershot (almost as bad as Maple Cross yesterday). Even someone who lived there told me how much they hated it yesterday. Then a much nicer town (or city?) - Chichester where I went to buy the local paper and explored some of the back streets after parking my car in a very full and busy car park. Enjoyed tutting at some solicitor bloke who parked over two spaces and then pretended not to see that another car was trying to get into the second space.

Tuesday

Hitherto unexplored parts of Maple Cross. Never to be done again.

Monday

Toilets at Renault London West, and then Hayao Miyazaki's Porco Rosso.

Sunday

The village of Aldbury then onto the Ridgeway and a stunningly beautiful walk up to Ivinghoe Beacon before coming back again. Lovely weather, so lots of people about appreciating the blue, blue sky and flying kites. Hard to believe it’s February.

Saturday

Oh dear, going to have to count driving along new roads around Fleet Street just after midnight, as Saturday was a bit short on new things.

Friday

New thing was going to Ye Olde Cock Tavern in Fleet Street for my colleague Thomas’ leaving do after he’d carefully chosen the venue to match his surname.

Thursday

New thing was a go in the passenger seat of Thomas' new car - a Ford Puma. It's absolutely fantastic, so I had to retract yesterday's comments because I realised I'd been picturing a Ford Probe. Another car-based new thing was borrowing my other colleague Simon's "five door saloon" because I was too nervous to drive Sir Matthew Van Camper into Rickmansworth owing to its impatient residents and tight parking spaces. Gung Hei Fa Choi by the way!

Wednesday

New thing was supplied by Mabel who kindly (and quite accurately) picked up a packet of prawn cocktalk-flavoured SnackAJacks as today's new thing as I forgot.

Tuesday

A dandelion and burdock drink. Roll on the Victoria Wood sketch.

Monday

New thing was going to the White Hart in Chalfont St Giles, which was a really nice foody type pub, for my colleague’s leaving do.

Sunday

Wagamama in Oxford for a much-needed hangover cure of yasai katsu curry. Also stopped by some shops in town, some new, some not.

Saturday

New thing was Raoul's in Oxford for a pre-Simple drink. And if I thought that the drinks in the White Horse were expensive......Also went to Baby Simple post-refurb, so that counts as a new thing.

Friday

New thing was what seemed to be a very nice pub called the White Horse in Chorleywood. But then I got charged £4.20 for a pint and a soda water, and the toilets were manky.