Dry stone walling

Friday
new thing for today was going to a new place (or possibly re-opened?) in Chesham called Room 51, with Uncle He's CHinese restaurant. Very nice inside although I was not very impressed that the woman behind the bar
a. said the drinks were expensive
b. turned over from Channel 4 news to Emmerdale, then disappeared into the loo to do her hair
c. Returned from the loo and sprayed (TWICE) copious amounts of hairspray all over her head, while standing behind the bar.

Saturday
Still not very impressed, this time because I got a telling off from 999. We came across a car in a terrible way which had obviously taken a massive plunge off the side of the road. Since it was in a bad state and was at the bottom of a hill, we had no way of telling whether there was anyone in the car, or when the accident happened. COuld have been seconds ago, could have been hours - except I assumed it hadn't because I was stupid enough to think the police would put a "police aware" sticker on it. So instead of thanking us for trying to help, we got told off. Not sure why the police are so surprised that they are so detested by the public when they do things like this.Who'd be law-abiding eh? Anyway, onto new things. Found a short cut to the swimming pool for an outdoor swim and then tried to go to the Pheasant Pub near the Lee but were very sad to see that it had closed "owing to the current economic climate" as stated on a sign on the gate. What was even more sad was that there was a cricket match taking place opposite, so lots of custom from the players and watchers if it had been open. It would have created a fabulous English scene too. Ended up going to the Cock and Rabbit in the Lee where we sat in the massive and beautiful beer garden for the first time.

Sunday
New thing was heading to Birchover in Derbyshire (very close to where we were last week) - this time we were on a farm learning the art of drystone walling. It's a beautiful part of the country, and the walls are an integral part of this. We started by going through some basics. Which entailed the instructor Trevor Wragg laughing at our gloves! He is an ex British champion drystone waller and has well over 20 years' experience, yet you can see his passion for the subject hasn't flickered at all.
We started with a quick overview of the different types of stones. The foundations, then the builders, middle fill (or hearting) and then the copers on the top. Then to work. A stretch of wall had falled down, so we extracted the stones and sorted them by type. Our section of the wall looked to be the most difficult since there was a distinct drop on the other side. Beyond the neighbouring field were lots of sheep and a campsite. It was a baking hot day and after shifting about two stones, I was already out of breath. We laboured on, shuffling with stones of various sizes, and checking with Trevor to confirm that they were indeed the types of stones we thought they were. In no time at all, we had laid the foundation for our wall. Then a much-needed tea break from the very nice farmer. After that, we were back to work. Trevor insists on working with sticks and bits of string to measure the height of each level within the wall, although some people have pre-fabricated A-frames. We tied the blue string eight inches above the first layer to ensure our wall was even in height (although it tapers so is wider at the bottom) and also to ensure there are no stones sticking out of the wall ("looking pregnant" as Trevor said). Another layer done here, and I have taken care not to mention that I had already sustained three minor injuries through my stupidity - pinched fingers are the norm here, so while taking a step back every now and then to ensure the wall looks straight from a distance, I checked that the number of fingers was the same as when I started. We kept laying the stones down from each side - boys on one and girls on the other, with the string rising every so often. In no time at all, it was resembling a wall, and looking far better than the other segments of wall completed by similar novice groups. Then a lunch break where we heeded Trevor's warning that if you construct a wall without wearing gloves you can be liable to catch Weil's disease. There can be other nasties in the wall such as hypodermic needles and broken glass - however, in our section of wall, we found a rather more interesting artefact - a gas mask, as well as some old glass bottles containing what appeared to be some sort of old-time sheep medicine. After a not-too-filling lunch - "If you eat too much, you can't bend", the day was flying by, it was now just time for the top layer - the coping stones on the top which complete the wall. These D-shaped stones were heavy and had to be lifted the greatest distance. But how satisfying when complete! Before we left, it was time for some pictures of our handiwork and then a tour of the wall which included a gargoyle from the NOrman church which was on the site in years past, a seciton of wall that popped out easily so people could hide their money in it, and a lead bell and gunpowder container from another section of wall - possibly dating back to the civil war. It was truly a brilliant way of getting up close to history and also of stamping a little bit of immortality onto the Derbyshire countryside. Other new things included the nearby shop where I bought some biscuits for my friend's dad. It wasn't until I handed them to him that I realised the best before date was a month ago. And Stafford.

Thursday

New thing was going to a clothes shop called Adora in Rickmansworth. I only noticed it because there was a massive "closing down" sale sign. What a shame - some lovely stuff in there and it reminded me of clothes shopping in Japan.

Tuesday

Another kick up my own behind (not easy to do!) because my new thing was so lame. Had to nip into Sainsbury’s to get something new and ended up with....organic Japanese rice cracker (wheat free Tamari)

Wednesday
A definite improvement on yesterday’s new thing; went to Weybridge. Seemed very familiar, but I might be confusing it with Wimbledon, or indeed any well-heeled Surrey town! New things were my meeting there, then going into the town centre where I checked out the charity shops (the only shops in my league). Managed not to get hit by any of the plentiful women driving 4x4s!

Monday

Again, limited slightly by my lack of car and time. So had to go into Sainsbury’s after work to hunt down something new. Came out with a traditional Greek appetiser called Baked Gigantes beans – tasted like giant baked beans, with lots of tomatoes and olive oil, and not worth the £2.50 I spent on them at all. Huge incentive to do better “new things”.

Rain, rain, go away...(or how we jinksed another festival...)

Thursday
A pub with lots of charm and character called the Hen and Chickens in Ley Hill; staff not so full of charm and character!

Friday
New location for the wonderful Bearded Theory festival! This year it is much bigger and better than last year’s and has moved to a new location of Hulland Ward near Ashbourne.
Attila the Stockbroker (And not regulated by the Financial Services Authority - but then no-one is, it seems), 3 Daft Monkeys (not new!) and Hawkwind – rock!

Saturday
The Hedgerow Crawlers
Hobo Jones (not new!)
(Beetroot Kings – not new!)
New model army

Then we went back to the van to dry off. While we were there, the van started shaking uncontrollably, after which we returned to the festival to find the stage had collapsed as had many of the tents...

Sunday
New streets around Derby dropping off a hitchhiker from the gustival. Then once we were home and dry we intended to go and see IN the Loop, expect i must have got my cinemas mixed up as it didn’t seem to be on when we arrived. Indeed there was nothing but 17 screenings of Angels and Demons, so instead we went to the Saracen’s Head in Amersham.

Wednesday

Crazy busy day meant that my new thing had to be a packet of gluten free kind of cheddar biscuits from Waitrose on the way home. Which means I have to reach into the third of my occasional series of boring facts about me, trotted out when my day is equally boring!

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin:

My name means Peaceful Poetry. How appropriate.
I will NOT have an ID card.
If I can walk there, I will.
I am very, very, very, very, very shy.
I refuse to use “impact” as a verb, “invite” as a noun and wince when people say “amount of people” or “amount of times”.
I was nearly a child star and was invited to appear in BBC drama Tenko but my parents didn’t want me to take time off school! Boo!
I once hit play instead of record at school mass and played “Milky milky” by Punt and Dennis at top volume to the congregation when trying to record a solo by our geography teacher.
I once went for a job interview thinking it was for a different job and surprisingly didn’t get an offer.
My first car was a Renault 5.
My teddy bear is called Goldie
So far, only one overnight stay in hospital – still not sure what happened, but crippling abdominal pain for no reason can’t be good!
I know enough Cantonese to talk about concentration camps, yet not enough to ask for a return ticket.
I move house more often than I go to the cinema.
I’ve written a novel which I’m waiting to be published. Just waiting for them to find it under my bed.
I have intentionally and unintentionally provided fodder for comedians.
I am very impatient
Pretending I can’t cook has kept me out of the kitchen for years!
When I lived in Tokyo, I had sushi at least once a day!
Thanks to my friend Dave, I once spent a whole week in Malaysia being called “Mrs Lionel Blair”.
You wouldn’t think this to look at me, but I used to be a county swimmer and league four (southern) 400m runner!
I quite often have that dream where your teeth are falling out.
But for two joyriders driving through the wall the day before exchange of contracts, I’d be living in Leicester now.
Temp jobs have ranged from working at Smythsons of Bond Street (where I saw Stephen Fry’s back leave the premises after ordering some stationery) to the bloody awful in Yeovil’s trifle factory and Social Services.
While at Exeter Uni, we had a landlord called Gordon Bennett.
I was the Lambourn reporter and yet cannot tell the difference between a horse, a pony and a mule.

Chish and fips

Monday
Took Mabel to a chip shop in Chesham because I wanted to thank him for his help in collecting my campervan! Earlier in the day I had pledged to myself (and my bank manager) that I wouldn’t be eating out at all until 21st July, so I lasted at least an hour.....

"Quote, unquote..."

Monday’s new thing will be broadcast on my birthday! Went to see the recording of BBC Radio 4’s “Quote Unquote” at the Radio Theatre, Broadcasting House. After waiting around quite a long time, we watched two episodes being recorded – a very slick and pleasant operation it was too. The host (and deviser) of the quiz Nigel Rees was very relaxed, charming and funny and even managed to find two people who had travelled from Australia and New Zealand to attend!
The guests were Dame Beryl Bainbridge – hilarious, the erudite journalist Anthony Howard who has a knowledge of everything, Ekow Eshun from the Institute of Contemporary Arts, (the ICA, or as it was called at one point, the CIA) and author of the Horrid Henry novels Francesca Simon who was misnamed Felicity at the beginning of the programme. The quotes are read out by Peter Jefferson who is the voice of Radio 4 – he proved this by reading various bits of the shipping forecast! It was a very enjoyable way of spending an evening and was topped off with a walk back to Piccadilly Circus via Chinatown where I got shooed out of a shop.

"It's the stupid economy"

Friday
Brilliant new thing which I had been looking forward to for ages -went to see the awe-inspiring Mark Thomas’s show “It’s the stupid economy” at the Corn Exchange in Newbury. Such a funny show where members of the audience were invited to put forward proposals for Mark’s political manifesto. There were some brilliant ones; such as “let the fifth runway at Heathrow go ahead....But get rid of the other four....”, “put the women in charge”, and “use kittens as currency” and my favourite; “old people need written authorisation before they are allowed to go shopping at weekends”. Mine got read out, much to my astonishment (because it meant he was able to decipher my handwriting); “replace speed cameras with beehives”, thereby decreasing the number of times people get fined for doing a couple of miles above the speed limit and reversing the downward trend in the bee population. The winner was “make people with OCD clean our hospitals”! Classic!

Saturday
New thing was taking my campervan to Wraysbury returning via a much prettier route and then ending up later in The Lee where I managed to find some new streets!

Sunday
We were hoping to go to see In the Loop which is proving difficult to find! However, a combination of money woes and lots of work to do meant that I had to nip out on my own to find something new, so ventured to nearby villages Cholesbury and Hawridge where I happened to stop for tea and cake in aid of the village hall. Got a bit scared of the woman pouring the tea and ran away though, taking a very scenic (but long route) back through Tring.

Thursday

New thing was my boss’ campervan. He kindly gave me a lift to the station as I had no transport – although I did give his wife a lift to a Renault dealer earlier in the day! Then when I arrived at High Wycombe £5.50 lighter (£5.50!!! – I could have got a taxi!!!) I noticed a sign saying “Irish Club” which intrigued me. The sign didn’t really point anywhere, so was literally led up a garden path.

Headlights, white lines, black tar rivers....AND SIDE STREETS!

Tuesday
New thing was turning down a street in Chalfont St Peter so I could get a run up for the nice house clearance shop in a bid to get extra chairs for tonight (which weren’t actually needed in the end – tee hee).

Wednesday
I left work at 5 on the dot to get to my osteopath about 15 minutes away at 6.30pm and only just made it there in time thanks to whoever it was who blocked up the A413 last night which necessitated me and about 4,000 other people driving along back lanes and villages and side roads. So new thing was getting stuck behind someone who broke down up one of these single lane roads.

Not very good luck for Mac and Mabel this week!

Wednesday
New thing was heading up north (of Chesham anyway) to collect something from a very nice freecycler. Also started to drive a new car – this one’s got five-doors YAY!

Thursday
New thing was the underground car park at Morrisons where the lights in my new Clio came on automatically – how clever is that? Also a couple of back roads around Ealing/Acton before “helping” out with some filming for Basque TV before heading daaan to Daarset en route to Cornwall!

Friday
New thing was heading down to Cornwall for the Celtic Rally Beer festival (the tickets were a Christmas present from Mabel so we’d been looking forward to this for about 134 days), so lots of new things from the Torpoint Ferry to arriving at Maker Heights. Set up the tent as no van thanks to the bodyshop’s rubbish parts sourcing ability, so got soaked putting the tent up. Weren’t allowed to take our own drinks in, so propped ourselves up at the bar and noticed that something seemed amiss. Asked someone what time the bands were on and were told “We’ve got more important things to think about”, which wasn’t the best start, and so it was indeed. It went downhill from there. Saw the usually-affable guitarist and singer Tim from the 3 Daft Monkeys looking annoyed. He said they hadn’t yet done a sound-check, nor did they think they would be paid...However, their set was awesome as usual and included Broygues Tantz which I’d not seen them perform live before. Their set was preceded by a band called the JamRags, who afterwards told us that their promised tent had not materialised and they had nowhere to sleep...things started to unravel from here...

Woken on Saturday to the sound of a very loud woman in the tent next to us proclaiming there was “no organiser to be found and no festival”. I refused to believe this was true so sent Mabel off to find out (I wasn’t feeling very well, in my defence, and no it wasn’t a hangover!). He came back looking very upset and confirmed that it was true, so we (he) packed up and we then hung around the food area waiting to find out what was happening. It turns out that the organiser, according to the Plymouth Herald, “tried to kill himself” as “he will probably be bankrupted as a result of the festival's cancellation.”

Sunday
New thing was not what we expected – instead of seeing Bad Manners, ASwad et al, we ventured into the back of Van Hage for some garden stuff. Boo.

Monday
New thing was a car boot sale at Chesham Football Club.